he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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