About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
