It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
