Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
