You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
