When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
