Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
