I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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