I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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