i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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