Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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