Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
