i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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