Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
