She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
