I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
