Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
