its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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