You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
