I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
