Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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