It was confusing and full of hummus
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
