I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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