so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
