What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
