You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
