you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
