How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
