Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
