Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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