hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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