i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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