Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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