I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
