Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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