I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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