I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
