Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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