Please, let me fuck your mom
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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