Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
