apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
