My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
