yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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