I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
