im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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