my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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