Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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