check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
