ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
