Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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