I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
