it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
