come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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