put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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