i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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