apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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