Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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