Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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