Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
