obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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