I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
