they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
